terça-feira, 13 de setembro de 2011

The last time

Last time I saw you, you were standing in front of my door, with those sad red eyes of crying because of her.
That's the only time when you searched for me, when she made you cry.
Then you entered my life once again because I was special and as you said "You always know what should I do in each and every situation".
"That's an easy thing to do when you're all over the place, in everything I feel, in everything I hear, so deeply under my skin". I replied.
So I let you come in, I let you crash in my couch knowing you would want to crash in my bed, in my heart...
And days became months, months became years...
It was easier to hurt someone like me than to hurt yourself the way you were doing, a man of principles complaining about nothing like a teenager.
So you left saying this was a mistake, that this wasn't right and you should go back to her. That this was the end.
Then why were you devouring me so strongly after all this time? Why you had to be inside of me, giving me the pleasure of your company, feeding me with lust and unrequited love?
So 15 years after you left me to stay with your wife, I receive a call from your mother.
- Jenny, is it true, is it true that you kept all of us from your son?
- Yes, your son is the one that decided we would never see each other, so I kept Lyan as my biggest secret. A piece of him I will never forget. He is grown up and healthy. Doesn't need a father.
- Your stupid bitch, don't you know what happened because of you?
- What are you talking about?
- He was unhappy in his marriage, his wife couldn't have any child and he always dreamt to be a father, then a friend of yours told him that his little affair had his child. He was affraid and ashamed of her finding out the true reason why their marriage never worked properly. He said he loved you and only you since the day he left your door. He said this were the biggest mistake of his life, at least this was written on the letter. And full of guilt he killed himself.

Now I lay here, knees down, crying in front of what is left of you. I am so sorry if it is too late for us... But last time I saw you, you were standing in front of my door, with those sad red eyes of crying because of her. I would suck my pride up, if I knew you spent your whole life...
Crying because of me, my love.

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