Cheers to a new beggining

A whole year passed. Another is beggining and I'm not sure of what exactly I was suppose to feel...
All this lights and all this happiness and I'm kranky, I feel empty, but I understand why everyone is laughing. It's always like this but it never felt this way, it never was this good to be in such a pain.
Happy new year and all those new things should be scary and not funny, but I have an unique sense of humor...
The truth must be told: I've always hated the end of the year because it makes me kind of depressed and I start to think that I haven't done at least half of everything I desire to do, to achieve...
I feel ike a failure... I'm a failure, but I'm not.
See? Who could possibly understand someone like me? I'm crazy.
I wish I was a little bit more normal, I wish I could have you here by my side, that would make my day complete.
Because then, looking at you, I would forget all of my mistakes, I would simply love you...
So don't.
Don't ask me to be happy and excited because I'm just not that kind.
Don't look at me like I should pretend I'm having a good time.
And please don't, don't ever leave me...
Because for the first time even the pain is not that painfull...
Your love heal me.
Your love saved me.
And for the first time I have something I am really glad to have.
So cheers, my love...
Cheers to a new beggining.